I Hate the Street

Tonight was a very ugly picture of so much that is wrong in our city. In many ways it was typical. It's Wednesday- that means Street Reach, a ministry in the Montrose area for kids living on (or making a living on) the streets. Teenagers and "20-somethings" gather to hang out with friends, hear a few words of truth from scripture, get loved on by wonderful volunteers, and get a warm meal prepared by caring souls that serve God by serving others. That's all very cool. Unfortunately, tonight was typical for other reasons. Most of the kids I talked with were full of anger. Their hearts are extremely hard. They have been abused by people who are being paid by our government to be "care-givers"... and I hate that. They are battling multiple addictions (drugs, alcohol, sex, and street life) ... and I hate that. The babies of the street kids were crying, and dirty, and hungry... and I hate that. There is usually some "drama" going on at Street Reach, but tonight there were fights. The police got involved which meant a trip to jail for some. There was blood shed - at Church!... and I hate that. For these reasons and others, I left tonight with a clear picture of how much I hate the Street.

At the same time, as always ... God was there. My friend Daniel had a great conversation with J whom he has been ministering to for several weeks. J has been opening up to God very slowly but has not found enough faith to actually believe that God would ever consider a relationship with him. But tonight, J told us that he has started praying to God and that God had demonstrated to J that He was real. When Reality speaks, He is rarely missed. Thank you God! I had the privilege of praying with B tonight. B is fighting cancer which is spreading in his body. This week he learned that he is also HIV positive. (He earns survival money as a male prostitute servicing sick men who prey on these boys who need money to eat.) B was at the end of his rope. He had planned on committing suicide tonight, but a friend talked him into coming to Street Reach. He had purchased a box cutter earlier today and described to me how he had planned to kill himself with this blade. The blade came home with me tonight. Thank you God!

As Creator God continues to show me how much He loves His kids and how much He hurts over their life stories, I realize more and more what an awesome privilege it is to love them on His behalf. I guess it is this love that makes me hate the Street.

Lord, I pray for Your kingdom to come to the inner city of Houston. May the environment which is now permeated by darkness be defined by Your goodness and Your glory. Lord, help us to prove you are Love.

Companion

Emmanuel - God with us! God came to us because he wanted to join us on the road, to listen to our story, to help us realize that walking in circles like the Israelites did for 40 years is not the only option. We can choose to move progressively towards the house of peace and joy. This is the great mystery of Christmas that continues to give me comfort and consolation: I am not alone on this journey! The God of love who gave us life sent us His only Son to be with us at all times and in all places, so that we never have to feel lost in our struggles but always can trust that He is with us...He is our Emmanuel.

In the last few weeks, the central theme of my conversations with people has been "struggles". We are struggling with relationships, with employers, with friends, with lust, with porn, with crack (and other chemicals), with debt, with our selfish desires, the list goes on and on. And it's common to one and all. Is this the world that God chose to come to? Are we the people He really wants to journey with? Is fixing my mess why He sacrified His only Son? Yes! Yes! and Yes! Our problem is letting God be who He wants to be. A part of us wants to cling to our aloneness - we don't really want God to touch us where we most need His Light and Love. Why do we hide from Him precisely those places in our hearts where we feel shame, guilt, confusion, doubts, defeat? These are the very chambers of our heart castles where He most wants to visit - where He most wants to exercise His dominion.

Christmas is the way God chose to give His greatest gift....a companion. And He shall be called Wonderful Counselor. That's what my soul needs. Doesn't yours? My prayer for you this season is that the Light of the World, the one God sent to cast out the darkness, would receive from YOU an invitation to visit a new place in your heart - that place you have tried to keep secret for so long, the place you most need a companion.

Waiting

With regard to the seasonal life of the church, we have entered Advent. There are two basic concepts that flow together in this period. From its Latin root, Advent means "coming" or "arrival". Traditionally, this is a season of expectation - a time to anticipate the future. Secondly, the beginning of winter brings darker days. Skies are low, clouds are near, it appears that the sun has been assigned a part-time job. This is the context of Advent - a time to progress through the darkness towards the light.

This morning, I noticed during my reading that all the figures who appear on the first pages of Luke's Gospel are waiting. Zechariah and Elizabeth are waiting. Mary and Jospeh are waiting. Simeon and Anna, who were there at the temple when Jesus was brought in, are waiting. The whole opening scene, which might be titled "Good news is right around the corner," is filled with waiting people. And right at the beginning all those people in some way or another hear the words, "Do not be anxious. I have something very good coming your way."

I have found it very important in my own life to let go of my wishes and to place my confidence (my faith) in my Father who has proven Himself faithful time after time after time. It was only when I was willing to let go of my plans and dreams that something beyond my own expectations began to happen to me. After Gabriel has appeared to Mary and given her a glimpse of what is about to happen in her life she says, "I am the Lord's maid and ready to serve. Let it be with me just as you say." Imagine what Mary was actually saying in those words, "I don't have any idea what this all means, but I trust that good things are about to happen to me." She trusted her Lord so deeply that her waiting was open to all possibilities. I am wondering in what ways my waiting for God to do what I think should come next is keeping me from receiving what God actually desires?

Henri Nouwen said, "to wait open-endedly is an enormously radical attitude toward life. It is giving up control over our future and letting God define our life." As it relates to our journey together in Cross Streams, I describe this life as getting into the river so deeply that we can no longer touch bottom. Then, be willing to "go where The River goes" - trusting in the goodness of God.

The spiritual life is a life in which we wait, actively present to the moment, expecting that new and good things are about to happen, new things that are far beyond our own imaginations and predictions. I would rather live one day in an intimate partnership with Jesus than a thousand years in a life that I completely control. Are you waiting "open-endedly" and full for expectation for what God is about to do?

Mr. Green

OK, so we're on this journey together to experience the miracle of transformation. For several weeks now, I've been hanging out with some friends in a coffee shop in downtown Houston on Monday nights discussing a few of the spiritual disciplines and working our way through a little book by Henri Nouwen. Last week, I'm wrapping up our talk and drawing some conclusions about the practice of Silence in our spiritual lives. While the practice of the disciplines is very important, I wanted to make sure that our orientation stayed on transformation - not the disciplines themselves.

So, I'm suggesting to our group that it is also important that we look for and expect to see some evidence that transformation is actually taking place. That we are being changed from the inside out. That we are (in reality) becoming more Christ-like...permeated by the love of God. To make this point, I direct our group to a specific paragraph in our books where Nouwen writes, "Silence is primarily a quality of the heart that leads to ever-growing charity. For it is charity, not silence, that is the purpose of the spiritual life and of ministry."

When I looked up from my book, a man was standing on the perimeter of our group. He looked to be homeless. He was disheveled, but didn't seem to present any imminent threat so we asked him to join us. After just a few minutes of conversation, we learned that Mr. Green was living on the streets downtown, had done time in prison for child molestation, was dealing with some painful sores on the inside of his mouth, had visited a few churches but didn't feel welcome at any of them. We explained to Mr. Green that we were regulars at this coffee shop and that he was welcome to join us every week if he wanted. He asked us to pray for him and reached out with both hands - so we all joined hands and prayed for one another. Then he asked if we could help him get some chicken. After a moment of hesitation, I excused myself from our group and Mr. Green and I headed out into a steady rain in search of chicken. Before I left him, I asked him how long it had been since someone told him that they loved him. He couldn't remember the last time he had heard those words. I asked his permission to touch him - which was OK with him. With my hands on his shoulders, I told him that God's love for him had not been diminished in any way by the mistakes he had made in his life; that God's love for us just grows and grows. And that I loved him as well. With tears in his eyes, he walked away into the late rainy night.

I sat up, wide awake the next morning a little before 5:00 a.m. It was one of those eery moments when you wake up and feel like someone is watching you, that there is someone in the room with you. After a moment, I realized I had been awakened by the Holy Spirit. I slipped out of bed and went into my study and sat in the dark. God began to speak deep within my spirit. He was focusing my attention on the timing of Mr. Green's appearance at our table. He brought back to my mind the phrase "ever-growing charity". Somehow, there in the dark, the Father said, "you were using words to describe charity as evidence that transformation is possible, that it is real. I brought Mr. Green to show you that charity is in your heart, that you are no longer just reading from someone else's material. Carry on, there is more to learn and more to do. Love my people, feed my sheep, and lead them to streams of living water."

Diving In

Thanks to my friend Jough for pointing me to this site to set up a blog for Cross Streams. We are on a journey together to discover the principles of Kingdom-living. In that pursuit, there are many struggles. I'll attempt to be totally honest and transparent with these posting as I share from my own journey and make observations about the transformational process.